Our Story: A Blog About Open Adoption

Thinking spring…

2012-03-01T14:52:00.001-05:00

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for spring. Honestly, we didn’t have much of a winter here to speak of – only a couple smaller snowfalls. Not much ice. I’m just not a cold weather winter kind of person. I love the other seasons – I’m ready to move on! I think Zoe is, too. I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk and get outside a bit and she jumped up and said, “I need my jacket!” We’ve been doing a lot lately – it’s been great. We went to Chuck E. Cheese’s for the first time with Zoe, my sister, Janice, and my parents. These are a couple of pics that I took of her while she was watching the show.

Last Saturday we bought her a bike helmet. We need it when we go ice skating (our rink requires them for toddlers) and we’ll need it for bike riding soon. She loves her “hat” as she calls it!

We do art every day. She discovered a love for markers! She loves to paint, too – I have piles and piles of her paintings in our family room. I’m going to frame a few and hang them soon.

Zoe and Grandma hanging out:

We spent Steve’s day off at a little pool and waterpark not too far from our house. I’m not kidding when I say I’m thinking spring and summer already! It made us feel like we were somewhere warm.

And these are a couple pictures from today. It was pretty chilly (definitely a mittens and hat kind of day) but it was good to get out and run around. Zoe and I played 'kickball’ and took her big wheel out for a spin.

She needed to feel a little fancy, I guess!

Guest Blogger

2012-02-19T22:51:00.001-05:00

Birthmomtalks writes a blog about being a mother to her two sons as well as as being a birthmother to her daughter. I have been reading her blog for quite a while. Recently she interviewed me as a guest blogger on her blog, Birthmomtalks. She asked me 20 questions about being an adoptive mom. Please check it out if you have a chance.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

2012-02-13T23:30:00.001-05:00

Favorite book

2012-02-09T13:58:00.001-05:00

This is Zoe’s favorite book–The Daddy Book by Todd Parr. She loves to hear it every night (and before every nap, too!)

What we’ve been up to lately

2012-02-05T21:32:00.001-05:00

This past week was so nice out. Normally we would have a lot of snow or at least really cold temperatures by now. It felt like spring for most of the week. We went to the park yesterday, went for 3 long walks over the last few days, and spent time walking around a nearby town a couple days ago. While we were there, Zoe and I went to a paint-your-own-pottery place. She painted the box in the picture below. She picked out the baby stamp and wanted to put it on her box. I love her expressions while she paints!

We went to a Barnes and Noble after that and she played with their train table. She loves trains and had a lot of fun playing with a little boy that joined her after I took this picture.

This is from earlier tonight. She was playing and being silly.

We put together a heart that her Mom Mom Cheryl (Steve’s mom) sent her:

And a cute pic of her wearing pajamas that are from her birthmom. She looked really cute in them. We spent the day at home – it was nice to not have to be anywhere in particular.

First trip to the theater

2012-01-28T21:14:00.001-05:00

We took Zoe to see Elmo’s Super Heroes today, and she had such a great time! We weren’t sure how it would go since she’s never been to anything like that before. She was fantastic, and she loved the show. Here’s a couple pictures from today:

Best of Open Adoption Blogs 2011

2012-01-23T16:14:00.001-05:00

I’m so excited! I was just reading the blog Production, Not Reproduction’s list of Best of Open Adoption Blogs 2011, and as I scrolled down I saw that my blog is on the list! I was nominated by Tiffany, one of the readers of my blog. Thank you so much, Tiffany! It’s really an honor. There are a lot of great blogs mentioned on the list, so I can see I have a lot of reading ahead of me!

Learning to skate

2012-01-22T17:36:00.001-05:00

When I was younger I took ice skating lessons. I wasn’t the best skater out there on the ice, but I had a lot of fun and liked the classes. When we put together our adoption profile, I remember writing about how I couldn’t wait to teach our child how to ice skate. We even have a year-round rink right here in our town, so it’s just around the corner. I decided to take Zoe there this past Thursday for open parent-tot skating time. She was very excited!

She did pretty well. It was only her second time on the ice, so she still has lots of learning to do. Mostly I held her up under her arms or around her waist, and she tried to get her little skates to glide. She kept saying, “I ice skating!” It was very cute. I love that one of those things that I had always looked forward to doing someday with our child has come true.

Appreciate

2012-01-12T14:00:00.001-05:00

I love this blog: Enjoying the Small Things. It’s written by Kelle Hampton and it’s about her life as a mom, writer, and blogger. But it’s so much more. She is a fellow Michigander but lives in Florida now. She takes amazing pictures. She’s creative and inspiring. In addition to her blog, she has written a book called Bloom that comes out in the spring. She writes about her experiences and her family, particularly her daughters, Lainey and Nella. Nella was born with Down Syndrome, and right now they are trying raise money for NDSS, the National Down Syndrome Society. Last year, her readers helped raise over $100,000 for the cause. She’s hoping to reach $200,000 by the time Nella turns 2! If you want to check it out, you can right here: NDSS.

The other reason I am mentioning the blog is because of Hampton’s most recent post. At the very end of it, she asks her readers this:

If you had to focus on one word for 2012, what would it be?

I decided that mine is going to be appreciate. I’m going to look for ways to show my family and friends how much I love and appreciate them, and I’m going to try to appreciate all of the little and wonderful things that happen each day. I want to be more aware of them. So if you had to pick, what would your word be and why?

We Belong Together

2012-01-12T01:46:00.001-05:00

Zoe’s favorite books right now are Llama Llama Red Pajama and anything by Todd Parr. She loves The Daddy Book, The Family Book. The I Love You Book, and We Belong Together: A Book about Adoption and Families. This is a picture of her reading that last book with us at bedtime:

We have such a routine down now for bedtime. Zoe brushes her teeth and she practically runs into her room. She always playfully tries to shut the door on us and giggles as she does it. She looks for some books to read in her basket that sits next to her dresser. We used to read just one but now we’re up to 3-4, depending on the night. And sometime mid-December, she decided that instead of it just being her in her bed, she wanted about 7 or 8 of her fuzzy friends to join her! The Zoe doll above is from Grandma, the Jesse doll is from Mom-Mom Cheryl, and Hello Kitty (or just Cat, as Zoe calls her) is from her birthmom.

She loves to have her teddy bear with her – that’s the same teddy that her birthmom has from us. And Elmo and at least 4 or 5 other dolls are in bed with her, too. She loves to be covered up in all her quilts that she has been given, and we tell her who each and every one of them is from. She loves it.

I love the picture of her at the easel. She goes to it each and every morning now and works on a new picture. She’s excited and wants us to join in!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how grateful I feel that I get to be this little girl’s mom. I couldn’t be any prouder of her than I am each and every day. She’s such a sweet little person. I love when she gives me her ‘baby bear hugs’ (and says it with a teeny tiny voice) and her ‘big bear hugs’ (and says that with a cute growly voice.) I love when she asks if she can help me – she wants to help me with whatever I’m doing at the time. And I love when she just wants me to hold her. It seems like I got to do that a lot over the past week and a half with her getting over her cold. I love seeing the world through her eyes each and every day.

Loving that it feels like spring!

2012-01-06T22:12:00.001-05:00

Zoe had such a bad cold this past week. She’s, hopefully, starting to get over it. We pretty much stayed home all week, so that she could get some rest. I thought for sure her bad cough was something more, but the doctor said no, it’s just a cold. Today was the first day that she really seemed more perky, so we decided to take a walk. This is a couple minutes into our walk:

And this was just around the corner. She was literally jumping because she was so happy to be outside! I love how you can see her shadow, too!

It’s almost 2012

2011-12-31T21:49:00.001-05:00

Today I was reading two different bloggers posts about 2011 and I thought I would write a similar update.

January 2011 - We started off the New Year with Zoe being sick and having a touch of pneumonia. She was getting very interested in books and was able to use a spoon and fork very well, too.

February 2011 – We had a lot of snow, we celebrated Valentine’s Day, and visited my sister out of state. We returned to home to find a furnace that didn’t work and had to be completely replaced, 11 more inches of snow, and that Steve had a heart condition (that we didn’t know he had had) and was going to need open heart surgery.

March 2011 – Steve had open heart surgery and everything went really well. We’re so thankful that he’s okay. (Zoe is holding his heart pillow in the picture below. The hospital gives you one so you can “hug” it as you cough to help ease the pain.) Zoe also had her first hair cut before Steve’s surgery.

April 2011 – Steve worked on recovering from surgery. He took a lot of walks to help the healing process and get his strength back. We also had a great visit with Zoe’s birth mom and her family.

May 2011 – We spent lots of time outside when the weather was nice. The other art teachers and I spent hours putting together our district art show –what a great night! (The pic on the right)

June 2011 – I finished teaching for the 2010-2011 school year. Zoe and I started our summer vacation. Steve went returned to work. Zoe went on her first train ride with my sister, Janice.

July 2011 - We took 3 trips – went up North to my parents’ lake house, flew to Las Vegas, and the three of flew to visit family and friends in New Jersey. We celebrated Steve’s birthday, Zoe went to her first friend birthday party at a gymnastics place, and we moved her into a full-size bed after she became an escape artist and could easily climb out of her crib and pack-n-play!

August 2011 – We celebrated my birthday, we spent a lot of time at the park and splash park, we went to the Hands On Museum with Melba and Charlie, and Zoe went to the library and a country fair for the first time.

September 2011 – I stayed home this year as a stay-at-home mom due to some changes within my school district. We went up North again for the holiday weekend. We celebrated Zoe’s 2nd birthday with family and friends, including Zoe’s birth mom and her boyfriend. We celebrated a couple weeks later with her birth grandma and uncles.

October 2011 – We went on a hayride, went pumpkin picking, visited a farm, and got ready for Halloween. I also became a Godmother to my little niece. We took another trip out to New Jersey for the christening and to visit family and friends.

November 2011 – We celebrated Thanksgiving and spent lots of time outside.

December 2011 – We visited Santa, went to a Christmas party, celebrated the holiday, went ice skating, and had another visit from one of my sisters.

Well, it’s 9:45pm on New Year’s Eve. We hope everyone has a happy new year!

If you’re reading this right now and waiting to adopt, I hope that THIS year is your year!

Holiday Nights and Ice Skating Fun

2011-12-28T21:20:00.001-05:00

We went to a local historical museum and village that had a holiday event going on for one more night. My sister, Janice, works there so we wanted to see her at her job. My other sister, Tracy, is here visiting and we wanted to do something fun.

This is Tracy and my mom waiting in line to ride a Model T. I think the car they rode in was from 1914, if I remember right!

Janice was working in the ice skating tent; she had told me that they had one pair of tiny skates that might work for Zoe. We decided to give it a try and see if she would like it. We got her skates on…

And got mine on and went out on the ice! It was cool to be skating outside at night – very pretty!

This was taken after we had already skated around the entire rink!

Her tiny little skates!

Aunt Janice, Zoe, and Grandpa…Zoe really didn’t want to give the skates back!

Steve, Zoe, and I right outside of the carousel:

My parents and Tracy, too…

It was a very rainy and somewhat chilly night to go, but it was really fun. Glad we got the chance to see what it was like. I can’t believe Zoe ice skated AND really liked it!!

A few holiday pics

2011-12-26T12:37:00.001-05:00

Christmas Eve right after we went to church

The look on Zoe’s face when she woke up on Christmas morning (I love this one!)

Born to be a rockstar!

Getting ready for a tea party with her daddy

Super Zoe!

Had to rock out before we went to our cousin’s house:

Aunt Janice, Grandma, Zoe, and Grandpa

She was so excited when she saw the Mickey Mouse box!

We had such a wonderful day. Steve and I just kept saying how much we loved seeing Zoe’s expressions and how excited she would get – even over a box or some wrapping paper. It was so sweet!

Looking forward to seeing my family again tonight, including my sister who is visiting from out of town. It’s going to be a really fun week.

The day before…

2011-12-24T00:31:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas from Steve, Zoe, and me (or as Zoe has been saying, “Ho, ho, ho,” in a very deep voice!)

A visit with Zoe’s birth mom and her birth family

2011-12-20T23:37:00.001-05:00

We celebrated Christmas this past weekend with Zoe’s birthmom, her birthmom’s parents, and her birthmom’s brothers. We got together at our house and visited. They got to see how much Zoe has grown – it really is amazing how much she’s grown since they saw her for her birthday.

We talked and had lunch together. Zoe showed her birthmom all of the ornaments on her little tree and told her about them. Her birthmom and her birthgrandma made her the shadowbox with her name in the picture below. It’s so beautiful – it’s so special and such a wonderful keepsake for Zoe.

Zoe got to be silly – she loved playing and pulling out all her toys. She loved chasing after one of her birth uncles, too. It was such a nice visit…I’m so glad that they were able to come and get together. I love that Zoe gets to see her birth family and spend time with them. We’re really grateful that they are a part of our lives.

Before and After Pics

2011-12-15T13:26:00.001-05:00

I am just about finished with making Zoe’s Christmas gift. I posted a picture of this table a few weeks ago. I bought it (and the chairs) at a Mom2Mom sale. I decided I wanted to paint it to go with her kitchen set that we got her for her first birthday.

This is the kitchen:

This is the table before:

Here’s a picture of me working on it. (There’s a stuffed puppy next to my arm behind me…it looks a little funny in the pic!)

Tada!

I just need to put another coat or two of sealer on it.

It’s such a good feeling to have it done, but it was really fun to work on for her, too! It took over 14 hours to paint…I’m so excited to see her use it and play with it.

1st Gingerbread House

2011-12-06T14:54:00.001-05:00

We had to run to Target today, and somehow this gingerbread house kit ended up in our cart. I’ve been wanting to make one for a while, but I really didn’t want to start from scratch. I’ve heard that it can be pretty frustrating to try to get the roof and the walls to stick together. So this one comes pre-made and you get to decorate it. Perfect for us right now. Maybe next year we’ll attempt putting one together! Zoe was really excited – she kept saying “House!”

The icing comes in a bag and she helped me put it on the roof. Not as easy as it sounds. Especially when your assistant wants to do a taste test every 5 seconds!

Frosting done and moving on to decorating with candy. Oh, no wait, that’s actually another taste test!

She had a lot of fun – can you tell? I did, too.

I haven’t done much holiday decorating yet, but I’m hoping to throughout this week. I would like to try to finish up my Christmas shopping this week, too. We have a lot of things we need to mail, so I need to get all of that done, wrapped, and boxed. I know it’s still early, but I’m trying to have things done so I can just enjoy the holidays as they get closer.

Waiting to adopt and the holidays

2011-11-30T14:09:00.001-05:00

Christmas songs on the radio, Christmas mass, decorations, shopping at the mall…there are so many things that are a part of celebrating the holiday (or other holidays if you don’t celebrate Christmas.) When you are in the process of trying to start your family, those things don’t necessarily make you feel festive. They can be reminders of what you are missing and hoping for. I know for me certain songs would make me feel sad. Or going to mass on Christmas Eve would make me long for the child I didn’t have because I would see all of these other families around us. And even just decorating was sometimes hard to do. It was all a reminder.

I have friends right now that are right where we were 2 1/2 years ago. Right in that waiting stage. Homestudy….check. Profiles…check. Waiting to be chosen…check. And when you get to that point, things are out of your hands. You have to hold onto the hope that the right expectant parents are going to come along and see your profile and feel a connection.

This is just my opinion, but I just wanted to say it’s okay to give yourself permission to not do the things you aren’t up to doing. It’s okay to say ‘no thank you’ to an invitation to a holiday event if you aren’t up for it. It’s okay to avoid the mall. It’s okay to turn the tv off if something comes on that upsets you or makes you sad. I think it’s all part of self-preservation.

The right expectant parents are going to come along. They are going to see your profile and see the kind of wonderful people that you are. Your baby is going to find you, and you will be parents. That I definitely believe with all my heart.

If you are reading this, and you are waiting to adopt right now or will be in the future, I just want to wish you peace during the next month. I know it can be hard, and I haven’t forgotten what it’s like.

A visit with Santa

2011-11-28T13:42:00.001-05:00

Steve took today off from work, so we decided to take Zoe to see Santa. Last year we tried to go to this particular mall, and it was too crowded. We weren’t able to see him and ended up somewhere else. We decided since it was a Monday and likely to be a lot less crowded, we would try it today. We ended up being the first ones there this morning, and Zoe got to see him right away. She wasn’t exactly excited about seeing Mr. Claus – maybe next year she’ll be happier to see him.

Before and After Pics of our Living Room

2011-11-26T22:11:00.001-05:00

Instead of running around the stores on Black Friday and today, we opted to give our living room and dining room a makeover!

Here are the Before pics --

This is our hallway – it was a really dark green color (with lots of spackling)

Here’s the living room and the dining room – all spackled and ready to paint:

Here’s the new paint in the hallway leading to Zoe’s room:

Here’s our dining room with the new paint:

And here’s the rest of the living room (or most of it, anyway) with the new paint:

We’re REALLY happy with how it came out. We loved the red color that we had before, but it was time for a change. I have some art and photos to hang back up, plus I’m going to work on a new painting or two for the room, too. Should be fun! That might not happen for a while, though, since I have a table and chairs to still paint and a couple of handmade gifts to work on first. But it feels great to have it all done. We brought Zoe home (she stayed at my parents’ house), and she was so surprised to see the new color. It was really cute. It’s amazing how much the yellow really brightened the whole room. It’s still warm, but in a different way.

Just wanted to share!

Thanksgiving Day

2011-11-25T08:43:00.001-05:00

I know, I’m a day late but we got home late last night. I didn’t have the energy to upload pictures. We had a really nice afternoon/evening with my family (though it was definitely strange for my sisters and other cousin to not be there.) We had a good time, played Apples to Apples (love that game!), and talked.

We are not hitting the stores today…Instead Steve and I are repainting our living room, dining room, and hallway! We’re going to go from Cranberry Zing Red in the living room to Warm Summer Yellow. The hallway is going from green to the same yellow. Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly! I’ll share a picture when we’re done.

How was your holiday? Doing anything fun today?

The Daddy Book and a Christmas Gift in the Making

2011-11-23T13:57:00.001-05:00

I just put Zoe in her bed for a nap, and we always do story time right beforehand. She has a big basket of books to pick from, and she gets to pick out whatever she wants us to read. This was her choice today:

It’s a great book. Todd Parr is the author, and all of his book are really wonderful He writes about all different kinds of families (perfect for adoptive families!) I was excited that she pulled it out because we may have only read it once before, and I’m pretty sure she has never sat through the whole book. She listened to the whole story today and had lots of comments along the way. It was so sweet.

This is a ‘before’ picture of part of Zoe’s Christmas gift. We have Mom2Mom sales around here, and I was able to get this table and set of 2 chairs for $20. It was a really good deal. I am going to paint it so that it will coordinate with her little kitchen set. I will post a picture when I have it all finished. We’re also working on painting our living room this weekend, so the table may have to wait just a few days. We’re going from a cranberry color in our living room to a light yellow – “warm summer.” Fingers crossed that it looks nice when it’s all done!

Learning so much, so fast

2011-11-19T22:52:00.001-05:00

I just wanted to share a couple pictures that I took recently of Zoe. She’s learning so much these days – it’s hard to keep up with her! She’s talking a lot – it’s unbelievable how many words she knows at this point. Usually I can understand what she’s saying, too.

She loves the little foam blocks in the first picture. She has been playing with them for about a week straight. She made that tower of blocks all by herself.

The second ‘project’ was something I found on Pinterest. You use pipe cleaners to create a wire sculpture on a colander. She had a lot of fun doing it.

And the third picture was taken just a few evenings ago. Zoe was watching Sesame Street. Cookie Monster was singing about the letter T. She got all excited, ran into her playroom, and came back out with the foam letter T in her hand. A few days later she did the same thing with the letter H!

It’s really cool to be able to see everything she’s learning. I’m so grateful to have this time with her.

Not so well

2011-11-09T22:22:00.001-05:00

The trip to visit my sister, the trip out east, all of the fall things we did, trick or treating on Halloween, working outside…it’s been fun these past weeks. A couple days after we got home, though, both Zoe and I were not feeling great. She had a cold, and I guess I was just feeling tired (and maybe coming down with the same cold.) We are both still under the weather. Last week she started a cough that sounded pretty rough; we only heard it when she was laying down in bed. We had her 2 year wellness visit the very next day, and the doctor heard her take a breath in…she said it sounded a bit like Zoe had croup. She said to keep an eye on her, and if it were to get worse we would need to put her on a round of steroids.

She does seem like she’s doing better, but I heard her cough for a while last night around 2:30am. I got up with her and made sure her pillow was propped up a bit. That seems to help along with having the humidifier going in her room.

I am still tired… It just seems like I’m run down a bit. Maybe it’s the time of year. Maybe I’m not sleeping well. I don’t know. I just hope whatever it is, it runs its course and doesn’t get any worse.

We’re just trying to take it easy and not do too much for a few more days. Hopefully Zoe will feel a lot better soon.

Our weekend

2011-11-05T15:59:00.001-04:00

Has been filled with…

…lots and lots of leaves

…lots of reading (I’m on book 2 of the Hunger Games and Zoe is very into one of the Sesame Street books she got for Halloween.)

…a bit of napping (well, not for me, but Zoe’s sleeping right now!)

…and a few odds and ends around the house.

Not what you would call a super-exciting weekend, but it’s been really nice to be low-key.

Happy Halloween (PIPs)

2011-10-31T22:17:00.001-04:00

Zoe had so much fun tonight! The highlights: hearing her try to say “Trick or Treat,” hearing her say a very enthusiastic “thank you” to every person who gave her candy, seeing her run up to Steve after every house and say, “Dada, Dada…” and then she would show him whatever she got, and just seeing her have such a great time.

Here’s Little Red Riding Hood (along with the Elmo pumpkin made by Aunt Janice and the picnic basket made my Zoe’s MomMom Cheryl):

Fall fun with Grandma and Grandpa

2011-10-30T23:08:00.001-04:00

My parents were able to meet up with us at the same farm we went to a couple weeks ago. They got to play games with Zoe, go on the wagon ride with her, and watch her paint another pumpkin. We all got to watch her go through the ‘haunted’ house about 7 more times! She loved it so much. It was a lot of fun watching how excited she got. Can’t wait to see how much fun she has tomorrow since it’s Halloween.

What We’ve Been Up To…

2011-10-27T09:44:00.001-04:00

It’s been a pretty busy couple of weeks. We took Zoe to a local farm and garden center and she was able to play in their kids’ area. They let them paint pumpkins and go in their “haunted house.” Not scary at all – it was an inflatable house that you run through like a maze. I think Zoe went through it 5 times!

Mom, Zoe, and I visited my sister, Tracy, and took Zoe to a local zoo. They were all set up for Halloween! We walked around to check things out and even got to feed a giraffe!

We just got back from a trip to the East Coast to visit Steve’s family and attend our niece’s christening. While we were there, we went to the Please Touch Museum in Philadelphia. Zoe got to play with her cousin and with our friends’ four children. She had so much fun! (And so did we!) These are some pictures from the Transportation Room, the Art Room, the Merry Go Round, the Alice in Wonderland Room, and the Weather and Water Room!

We also got to meet up with Barb and John, our friends who are also adopting. It was so great to see them and to get to talk about their latest updates in the process. They are such a great couple and are going to make fantastic parents. I hope that they have a short journey to their little one!

And here is one picture from the christening (just outside the church.) We do have another one that came out better, but I’ll probably save that one and use it for our Christmas card (so I’m not posting it yet!) It was a really nice day, and I’m very proud to be my niece’s Godmother. It was great to get to see her, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law, my nephew, and the rest of Steve’s family.

12 years

2011-10-17T09:51:00.001-04:00

Yesterday we celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. Here’s how we looked back then:

We danced to “At Last” by Etta James. I know that it’s a popular song for 1st dances, but back then I had never heard it before. We just loved it when we heard it.

I danced with my dad to “My Girl” by the Temptations and Steve danced with his mom to “Stand By Me.” Our bridal party started doing some do-wop dance very impromptu behind us; it was pretty funny.

Oh, and two of Steve’s best men showed up in kilts right before the wedding to ‘surprise’ Steve! (The place where we got married, Canterbury Village/King’s Court Castle Restaurant, has banquet halls, a very romantic medieval feel to it, and a place where you can actually rent Scottish kilts. The groomsmen asked me if it would be okay if they surprised Steve to make him laugh before the wedding and I said sure. They rented the kilts and showed up. )

We were surrounded by family and friends that love us very much, and it was one of the most wonderful days of our lives. I am beyond lucky to have Steve as my husband.

Farms and Apple Orchards and being a SAHM

2011-10-13T14:27:00.001-04:00

We have had quite a few very busy weekends lately. It seems like there’s no shortage of fun things to do this time of year. We live fairly close (within 30-40 minutes) of quite a few farms and apple orchards, so we have been making the rounds. These pictures are from about 2 weekends ago. Zoe liked the little pony:

She liked the pumpkin patch a lot, too. So much so, in fact, that she wanted to carry every pumpkin she could get her hands on! They were so heavy – there’s no way she was going to be able to do it. But that didn’t stop her from trying.

Here’s a picture of her with Steve as they walked back over to the wagon. (I had the pumpkin on the wagon already.)

Last week week we went to a local museum that was having a Wizard of Oz event for children. Here’s Zoe posing with a very schmancy pair of shoes! Gotta love the hands on the hips and I’m pretty sure she was saying “cheese!”

This is a picture of my sister with Zoe. They could pick vegetables from the vines and the plants as if they were working on the farm in The Wizard of Oz. That had to be Zoe’s most favorite part of the whole area.

Zoe coloring a Dorothy mask:

Learning all about how gears work:

Playing at home afterwards…yes, those are her pajamas! I love the black and orange leggings and the smile on her face.

This past weekend we went with my family to another farm and apple orchard and had a lot of fun. We took a tour of the orchard on a horse-drawn wagon ride.

Posing with the horses – they were really beautiful.

Hanging out in the pumpkin patch – I like the dirt on her chin and her knee!

And hanging out at home afterwards…Zoe loves her little Elmo slippers.

So back to the title of my post…Farms and Apple Orchards and Being a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom). I don’t think I’ve mentioned it on here yet, but I’m staying home with Zoe this year. There were changes in my school district due to budget issues and I was moved out of my school entirely (both of my schools actually.) Instead of moving into the position I was being transferred to (which was in the high school), I requested to take a Child Care Leave for the year and it was granted.

I miss my students a lot. I miss my coworkers, too. I am sad that I was moved out of my home school building because I have known those families for many years. I know, though, that this is a gift that I didn’t think I would get again – being able to stay home with Zoe and see her grow each day. So I am making sure to take advantage of all of the great things that we can do since we’re together. We have been very creative – painting, using clay and play dough, drawing; going for lots of walks; checking out different playgrounds; spending time with family. I’m really happy to have this time with her. I was looking at Zoe this past weekend, and I was really surprised at how much she’s grown recently. People always say how much time flies by, and I guess when you can see the changes in a baby as they grow into a toddler, it really does.

When I go in to get her out of bed in the morning, she’ll ask, “How are you doin’, Mom?” And that’s my cue to ask her how she’s doing, and she’ll answer “Good, Mom. Good.”

And she really is. She’s doing great. She’s learning so much. And I’m so happy that I get to be home to see it.

Is it really almost October?

2011-09-30T14:37:00.001-04:00

It seems like September went by in a blink of an eye. It was a busy month, that’s for sure. We celebrated Zoe’s birthday with her birth grandma and birth uncles this past weekend. It was nice to see them with Zoe. She had a lot of fun playing with her play dough with them. Her Aunt Janice gave her a HUGE box of play dough, so she’s been making all kinds of things with it. We’re really happy that we got to see her birth mom at her birthday party, too – it meant a lot to us.

Zoe loves being outside. It’s been raining so much here, though, it’s been tricky. We’re hoping to get to a cider mill or pumpkin patch this weekend if it clears up. She’ll have so much fun (this was taken yesterday)…

We had a really nice surprise yesterday, too. My friend, Brenda, from Forgetting to Remember to Forget, sent Zoe a really nice package for her birthday. She also sent me a beautiful ceramic heart for my birthday. (Thank you so much, Brenda!) Zoe loves Abby from Sesame Street and was so excited when she saw the card:

Modeling her fancy sunglasses – looking like a movie star!

And checking to make sure that it really is Abby Caddaby…yep – it is!

And just one more bit of fall…We had Zoe’s 2 year pictures taken last week, and I was able to pick them up yesterday. Can’t believe she’s two – it doesn’t seem possible!

Zoe turned 2! (just added a couple more pics)

2011-09-21T09:50:00.001-04:00

Over the weekend, we had a birthday party for Zoe with our family. We invited Zoe’s birth mom and her family. She was able to come with her boyfriend, and we’ll be getting together with the rest of her family this weekend.

We had such a great time – Zoe had a good day playing with her relatives, including her little cousin L who is close to her age. We even got a huge surprise when Zoe’s Aunt Tracy walked in the door! She’s been working out of state and we haven’t seen her for a while. It was great to have her at the party.

Here are a few pictures from the big day…

Zoe sitting in the backyard at Grandma and Grandpa’s

The 3 of us

Tracy walking in to surprise us

Ladybug themed desserts:

Back at home…dancing in the sunlight in our kitchen

She looks like she’s striking a disco pose!

Time for night-night – all ready for bed in pajamas from Aunt Barb and Uncle John!

Happy Bird Day (aka Happy Birthday)!

2011-09-16T21:32:00.001-04:00

Zoe woke up early today as if she knew it was her birthday. Since she’s been sleeping in her big girl bed, she waits for us to come in and tell her it’s okay to get out of bed. We’ve been really lucky so far with that. We met her at her bedroom door this morning and said she could climb down out of her bed. She ran out to the living room to find that we had filled it with “bird day” balloons. She was so excited!

Steve came home from work to have lunch with us. The outfit Zoe is wearing was a gift from Steve’s mom, Zoe’s Mom Mom Cheryl.

This is one of Steve’s mom’s recipes – it’s a pumcake! It’s spice cake mix with pumpkin and chocolate chips (plus chocolate frosting.) Zoe couldn’t wait!

Zoe loves Elmo and Abby Cadaby – we bought her one of each. She gave them lots of hugs and kisses.

I’ll bet Steve never knew he would someday be helping his daughter put fairy wings on!

A pic with Grandma and Grandpa:

I’ll try to write more this weekend. We are having a get together with family on Sunday for Zoe. We’re looking forward to it. I’ll try to write more after that. It’s been quite a day of memories – this morning I was remembering how we got the call that she had been born and that we had a daughter. I remember meeting her for the first time and how overwhelming and amazing it was. She’s has filled our lives with so much happiness – and she’s only 2! Happy Birthday, my little Zoe Bear.

Talking more about open adoption

2011-09-08T22:00:00.001-04:00

A few of my blog readers asked me to talk a little more about what open adoption specifically means in our situation. LisaAnne at Living Through Today asked me to talk about the level of openness in our adoption. Erin said she likes learning how our open adoption works because they all seem so different. ArmyWife at My Story wrote how she is “open to the idea of adoption” and “wanted to know more about your experience as I have always felt I wouldn’t consider an open adoption.”

When we first started looking into adoption, we had a basic knowledge of it based on the experiences of our friends. I remember how my 7th grade teacher adopted a little girl through international adoption. One of my childhood friends was adopted from Korea. A sister of one of my friends was adopted through domestic adoption. One of our very close friends was also adopted through domestic adoption. So over the years we have both had some experiences with adoption, although not in our families.

Before we met with our agency and while we were a waiting couple, we did some research. Our agency required us to read two books. We chose Dear Birthmother and Adopting After Infertility from the list we were given. I couldn’t get enough information – I read adoption memoirs, how-to-adopt books, adoptive parent and birth parent blogs, adoption-related websites, and anything else I could get my hands on! I also joined adoption chat boards and read a lot about what other waiting parents were going through. It made me feel a connection – like we weren’t alone in what we were going through.

Through all of the research and reading, we learned about different types of domestic adoption – closed, semi-open, and open. As we attended meetings at our agency, we learned more. Our caseworker ran one of the meetings where we learned about what each type of adoption means and how it can look in different situations. We learned that semi-open adoptions are the most common within our agency, but that open adoptions are encouraged as well. Closed adoptions happen but are more rare. They do have adoptions where babies who were dropped off at a hospital can be placed with an adoptive couple; I think these are called “safe haven” placements if I remember right. My guess is that these adoptions tend to be closed unless a birthparent leaves contact information at the hospital.

The birthparents decide what type of adoption they would prefer. Once they make that decision, they can look through profiles of adoptive couples to decide who they would like to choose to be their child’s adoptive parents. Our agency basically defines the types of adoption as this:

Closed: No contact between the birth parents, adoptive parents, and child.

Semi-open: Adoptive parents send letters and pictures to the birth parents at designated times throughout the year, such as at 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, etc. up to age 18.

Open: Adoptive parents send birth parents letters and pictures (the same as semi-open adoption) but also agree to a yearly visit or two with the birth parents. Open adoption can include the sharing of personal/private information such as last names and addresses. It can include communication by phone and email as well.

So back to our particular situation. Zoe’s birth mom wanted an open adoption. When we met with her (during the summer before Zoe was born)we talked about what she wanted that to look like. It included letters and pictures and up to 2 visits with Zoe and us per year.

What we have at this point is so much better than that.

We got to know Zoe’s birth mom over the summer prior to Zoe’s birth. We emailed each other and talked on the phone. In fact, during our first meeting, I think we even felt comfortable enough to exchange cell phone numbers and emails (maybe even addresses?) I can’t quite remember. But we had contact over those months, and I was able to even see her birth mom a few times. She had invited me to a doctor appointment and to a labor/delivery class. I won’t ever forget that she let me into her life like that and wanted me to be a part of it with her. We met some of her family members over the summer, too, and that was great to start to get to know them, too.

When Zoe was 6 months old, we had our first visit with her birth mom, her birth grandparents, and one of her birth uncles. We invited them to our home for lunch. It was really nice (even though as I mentioned in the last blog post, I was so nervous!) But we had a great time, took pictures, and talked. LisaAnne also wrote, “I would also like to know how you came to that level of openess. Was it 'agreed upon' or did it happen organically?” We originally agreed to the pictures, letters, and 2 visits like her birth mom had asked. We do not have any contact with her birth father at this point, but we are open to it if it happens. We just took it one visit at a time, I guess, so I would say it happened more organically. We all get along and like to spend time with each other. We also feel that it is really important for Zoe to have contact with her birth mom and birth family. We also had visits when Zoe was 9 months old, one year, 15 months old, 19 months old, and 22 months old. Four out of the six visits have been here at our home. One of the visits was at my parents’ house for Zoe’s 1st birthday, and one of the visits was at the zoo. Two of the visits were during the holidays – once at Christmas and once at Easter. Some of the visits were at her birth mom’s request and some were at ours. We’re hoping to see her birth family next weekend for Zoe’s 2nd birthday, too.

So in her 2 years, we’ll have met up 7 times. We talk on the phone and online. We text. We mail and email photos and letters. We send her birth family cards, and we send her birth mom little things now and then. Her birth mom and her birth family have given Zoe gifts when they’ve visited, and they are very special keepsakes. We feel really fortunate to be able to spend time with her birth family. We love that they have seen how Zoe had been growing and learning so much. It means so much to us that she has a relationship with them. We know that every adoption is not like this. We certainly don’t take it for granted. We’re so fortunate to be in a situation where we all want the same thing – we all want Zoe to know how much she is loved. We’re so appreciative that they want to be a part of our lives and that they let us be a part of theirs.

PS. Just want to congratulate Kelly E. at The Big Long Wait who, when she commented, was waiting to take their 1 week old daughter home. Hope you are doing well!

Open Adoption–Positives and Challenges

2011-09-06T15:17:00.001-04:00

I wanted to say again how nice it was to read the comments from my earlier post and to see how many readers have followed this blog either since Zoe came home or from long before that. Like I wrote in the last post, I have been unsure of what to write. I have wondered if I should continue writing the blog or not. I really love to write; I am just unsure of the direction I want it to go. I want to focus as much as possible on adoption (open adoption, specifically), but I also debate with myself about how much is okay to share. This is an experience that belongs to more than just me – it impacts our daughter, my husband, my family, and of course, Zoe’s birth family. As I write my posts, I find myself trying to write in a way that will honor and respect everyone. I also find myself wanting to share more because I really feel so passionately about adoption. I love sharing our experience and encouraging others, too.

I had said that I would answer all of the questions asked in my earlier post. Penelope mentioned in her comment that she would “love to know more about the good/challenging things in an open adoption.” There are so many great things about having an open adoption with Zoe’s birth mom, Z. I am so thankful to her for wanting to be in Zoe’s life and to be in our life. She’s part of our family. We have gained so much by having this relationship. Zoe does not understand adoption yet, but she knows that she is very loved by Z and her family. Zoe is so happy when she sees them.

Zoe’s birth mom is a really strong, brave person. She made such a hard decision and has impacted our lives forever. She is funny and kind,and it has been wonderful learning more about her each time we visit (or talk, text, or email.)

My husband agrees with me, but he also added a few things to what we appreciate about having an open adoption. Steve brought up how it is really a positive thing to have medical information about our daughter. And if something should come up health-wise, we could ask Z about it.

Steve also brought up that it has been a gift to us to get to know Z and to see how she has been doing since choosing adoption for her/our daughter. And we are so glad that she (and her family) get to see how Zoe is doing. Zoe will have a relationship with her birth mom. She will know how loved she is by her birth mom, uncles, and grandparents. Because of our open adoption, we are connected to each others’ lives.

As far as challenges go, I guess there are some. I know that I was incredibly nervous when we got together the first time. We were so excited to see them and for Zoe see her birth family. But I was so nervous about what to say. I really wanted her birth mom to see how much we love Zoe and how beyond-thrilled we were/are to be her parents. I also wanted her to be happy she chose us. That’s a lot of pressure, you know?

Steve and I also talked about how when we adopted Zoe, we went from a couple to a couple with a daughter to a family of three with an even bigger family. You have to be sensitive and respectful to everyone’s feelings. Of course we have always tried to be respectful to our family members, anyway, but then you suddenly have a whole new section of your family. You have to consider a lot of different feelings and get to know the new family members as you go.

Penelope also wrote: “If you plan on adopting again, how (if at all) would you change aspects of the birth parent involvement?” We would love to adopt again, but we are not sure if/when it will happen. I will probably write about that in another post. But as far as would I change aspects of the birth parent involvement…If we were in a similar situation with another birth parent or a set of birth parents, I would not hesitate to have the same level of openness. We got to know Zoe’s birth mom prior to Zoe being born and we were comfortable with the idea of having an open relationship with her. As long as we felt that way, we would be happy to have another open adoption relationship.

I think I will stop here for now..I will read through the comments again and see if there are other questions to answer in my next post. I will leave with a pic from our Labor Day weekend…we spent some time at the lake with my parents. Zoe is quite comfortable on Grandpa’s boat!

Answering your questions

2011-08-22T16:04:00.001-04:00

In my last post, I asked a few questions about who you are, how you found my blog, and what you would like to read more of or less of here. I guess I have kind of felt like I am in a blog slump these days. Does that even make sense? I want to write (I love to write), but I haven’t been sure of what to write about. And we’ve had a busy summer, but then I wonder if other people are interested in that or not. So I really appreciate how so many readers responded and made suggestions. And thank for all of the nice compliments, too – that was very kind and I guess I needed a little pat on the back to know that people are still interested in reading what I have to write. So thank you. It was really interesting to see who has been reading this for a while and see who has just recently started reading my blog.

I figured I’ll read through the comments and answer your questions. I might need to use a few posts to do it, though. I’ll start with Journey’s comment. Journey at Our Journey To You wrote, “I would love to know what books you read or sites you visited either before/during/after applying.”

I love my subscription to Adoptive Families magazine; if you don’t already get it, I suggest getting a subscription. They have a lot of good articles every month. I also liked Dear Birthmother. Our agency required we read two books and that was one of our choices. Adopting After Infertility was good, too. The two books on the bottom of the pile – The Complete Adoption book and Adoption for Dummies – are good when you are just starting out. I would probably recommend the Dummies book – not the greatest title but it breaks down information for the reader. I loved reading memoir-style books – I know I read more than what’s even pictured here. But a couple of my favorites were Trail of Crumbs, From China With Love, China Ghosts, and Two Little Sisters. We weren’t sure whether we would do international or domestic adoption in the beginning, so I read books about both.

These are some children’s books about adoption that we like:

I Wished For You: An Adoption Story by Marianne Richmond
This one made me get so teary-eyed! It's about a little bear named Barley and how he was adopted. It uses accurate adoption language; it addresses why someone might choose adoption; it brings up how the adoption process is involved...
A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza
This is a book about a little bird who lives alone and wishes for a mother. He meets animals and asks if they could be his mother. Eventually he meets a bear who shows him how they don't have to look alike to feel like a family.
We Belong Together: A Book About Adoption and Families by Todd Parr
I LOVE this book. I love the way it's written and how it could apply to so many different types of families.
Horace by Holly Keller
This is a story about a little cheetah that was adopted by a tiger family. He worries that his adoptive family might not like his spots. He finds out how much they really love him and how happy they are to be a family.
Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis
I love the illustrations in this book - there are so many great details. I love how the book is written, too...

And as far as websites or blogs about adoption that I read when we were starting out (and continue to read now):

One of the first blogs I read about adoption was Kate’s blog: josiej2011. I remember following Kate’s story of the adoption of their daughter, Josie. At one point, I “lost” her blog…not sure how I managed that, but recently Kate commented here and we ‘connected’ again. It’s great to see how they are all doing.

Production, Not Reproduction is a great blog about open adoption. She tends to have a lot of links to other great blogs as well.

Karen writes One Good Egg, a blog about adopting from Foster Care. She and I have “known” each other for quite a while. I think we found each other on a chatboard years ago, if I remember right!

Brenda is the author of the blog, Forgetting to Remember to Forget. She went through the same rollercoaster of infertility that we experienced and we supported each other along the way. She and her husband have started on a journey to adopt as well!

Ella Minnow Pea is written by Rebekah and tells the story of their adoption of their son, Parker. (She shares her own graphic design work and inspirations, too…it’s a beautiful blog.)

Melba writes Dreams Really Do Come True. Melba writes about her son, Charlie, and the adoption process. She also writes about life with a toddler. I wrote a post about meeting up with Melba and Charlie just a week or two ago.

There are a lot of blogs on my sidebar, too…I recommend checking those out if you haven’t yet…Life According to Leah, When Hello Means Goodbye, Our Life in the Farm, Keeping Up with the Johnstons, Heart Cries, and The Road Less Traveled are just a few….These are blogs that I came upon during the adoption process.

There are also some really wonderful blogs out there written by birthmothers. You might want to check out: Birthmomtalks, It’s Just One Hat, and Amstel Life.

If anyone wants to add more suggestions to the list (of books, websites, or blogs) feel free to leave a comment. I know I’m forgetting some!

I’ll answer more of the comments/questions in some upcoming blog posts. Thank you again.

If you read my blog…

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Can you leave me a comment and tell me a little bit about yourself?

What brought you to my blog? How did you find it?

Did you adopt or are you thinking of adopting? Are you a birthparent? Do you have some other connection to adoption?

Is there anything you wish I would write about or write more/less about?

Thanks

23 Months Old Today

2011-08-16T15:07:00.001-04:00

Only one month away from being 2 years old. Wow. Zoe has grown so much.

You can tell from the picture that she’s very tall.

She loves to be silly and laugh (or make other people laugh):

She’s very into anything with water – swimming, sprinklers, puddles – she jumped in one today on our walk.

She loves to walk! She’ll walk in front of us and it’s like she’s on a mission to get around the block. She’ll stop and pick up tiny twigs and leaves and hold them until her hands are so full. Then they get handed to one of us.

She went to the library for the first time:

These are the books we got:

She’s talking a lot – some of it we can understand and some of it we can’t! But she’s doing great. And she tries, even if she can’t quite get the words out. Yesterday it was “airplane,” “teddy,” and a few others.

She’s saying sentences, too. “Uh oh, Mama.” “Where Daddy go?” “No, I don’t wanna…”

She’s really sweet. She’ll come up and just snuggle with you or sit in your lap and let you read to her. She gives lots of hugs and kisses. She’ll talk to people when we’re out and say, “Hi Guys!” in her little tiny voice. It’s so cute. It’s been really wonderful to see how many ways she has grown and changed this summer.

Friends through Blogging and Adoption

2011-08-11T23:59:00.001-04:00

Melba and I have been reading each other’s blogs for quite a while. She’s a great writer – check out her blog here: Dreams Really Do Come True.

We met for the first time last summer. Her son, Charlie, and Zoe were so little then:

And here they are today – we met at the same kids’ museum:

At one point we talked about how it’s so nice to have friends who really understand the whole process of adoption – people who have been through it all. I know I feel really lucky to know Melba and Charlie – I’m hoping that we can together again really soon.

I loved hearing Zoe try to say Charlie’s name…it was kind of like Chaw-lie. So sweet.

Lifebook and Birthfamily Visit

2011-08-08T09:52:00.001-04:00

One of the things I really wanted to do this summer was make a book for Zoe about her adoption story. I ended up using Snapfish to put the whole thing together. I think as she gets older, we’ll work on a newer book together; that way, Zoe can add in drawings or pictures that she wants to include, too.

The book begins with us waiting for a baby and then getting “the call.” I included pictures of her with her birth mom and birth grandparents at the hospital. I included pictures of us holding her for the first time, too. There are pictures of her coming home, family and friends who came to visit, and visits that we’ve had over the past 22 months with Zoe’s birth mom. I tried to write it so that it would be easy for her to understand at this age.

She loves looking at it. In fact, once she pulls it out and brings it over to one of us, we know that we’re going to be reading it multiple times in a row.

We got together with Zoe’s birth mom (and her family and her boyfriend). It was really good to see them. We met at our house and hung out for a bit. Then we headed up to the splash park for a little bit. We came back to our house and sat outside in the backyard and watched Zoe run around in her little pool and playhouse. It was a really nice afternoon. It was great to see how much fun Zoe had with everyone. We’re so glad we were all able to get together.

July has been a whirlwind

2011-07-30T17:17:00.001-04:00

A few months ago, Steve and I decided to plan a much needed vacation. Well, we actually planned two vacations. We took both of them last week! The first one was a short 3 day trip to Las Vegas for just him and me. Zoe had fun staying with her grandparents and her aunt Janice. Here are just a couple of pictures our pool, us at the pool, the hotel (we stayed at the Luxor), and the view of the hotel Paris as we drove by in our cab.

Our second vacation was a trip to New Jersey to visit our family on Steve’s side and a few of our friends. Zoe had so much fun playing with her cousin and meeting another cousin, our niece, that was just born a couple months ago. The kids played on a huge waterslide – so much fun!

We went to a hands-on museum with our friend and her 4 children -- Zoe loved playing with them and we couldn’t get over seeing how big they’ve all grown.

Here she is playing with a puzzle on the wall – it looked like a giant garden.

All of the kids in front of a tile wall in the front of the museum:

Our friends, Barb and John, invited us over for one of the afternoons and evenings we were there…we had a great time visiting, catching up, and hearing all about their adoption plans (they just had their home visit and they are approved…yay!!!!!)

We spent a warm Sunday morning at the Philadelphia Zoo. Zoe got to go along for the ride with her baby cousin! (The baby is in the front half of the stroller.)

How great is this mural/mosaic??? So pretty.

Making friends!

Playing in the hotel pool:

Hanging out poolside with MomMom Cheryl, Zoe’s grandma from the East Coast! Cheryl made Zoe two more scrapbooks to add to her collection and outfitted her in Phillies gear – too cute!

Yes, we did all of that and more in one week. We need a getaway just to recover from our vacation. Just a bit before all of this Zoe made a big move…she is now sleeping in her big girl bed instead of a crib. While Steve was in the hospital she had tried to make an escape from her crib. We knew it was a matter of time before she fell out. We decided to order her a mattress and convert her crib into the full size bed it turns into. We ended up moving it after we put it together. It’s now in the corner where the white armoire is…it’s a bit safer for her up against the wall. (All of the art and the shelf has been taken down…much safer until we know she will leave it alone!) We have two bedrails and a step stool to help her get up and into her crib. She LOVES it.

She doesn’t stop moving…

2011-07-13T22:26:00.001-04:00

Zoe is one toddler with A LOT of energy! If we’re inside she wants to play “ball ball” in the kitchen (usually with Steve but she’ll make do with me if he’s not home from work yet!) If she’s in her playroom, she’s busy pretending to make a meal for us. If she’s in her room, she’s running to hide behind her curtain (and when you call her name, she’ll respond, “Huh?” instead of hiding quietly!)

We’ve been to the splash park a lot this summer. We played on a lot of different playgrounds. We went to a couple of indoor playgrounds, too (pictures from one of them below.) We have gone to the pool. We’ve gone for a ton of walks. She will literally grab our shoes and plop them at our feet and say, “Come on” our “Outside?” She just loves being out. Today we ran errands and she made sure to wave and greet almost everyone we passed. It was very sweet.

The biggest activity she had over the past week was when she spent an afternoon at a local gymnastics center for her first ever all-kids birthday party. A friend of mine invited us to attend. I was pretty nervous at first; Zoe isn’t even 2 yet. But I figured we would go and she could participate at her level. The invite said to wear athletic wear or a leotard, so I couldn’t resist buying her a little pink glitzy leotard. I believe Zoe’s response when she saw it was, “Wow…” As my sister, Tracy, said, “Ms. Innes (our ballet and gymnastics teacher from when we were about 5 years old) would be proud.” I have to agree.

Here’s our little gymnast/climber/dancer/runner:

Okay, so maybe she does slow down….once in a while. Which is good since she can seriously tire us out!

Happy 4th of July

2011-07-04T00:28:00.001-04:00

June and July have been pretty busy (and July just got started!) We were at the splash park last week on a couple different days. I was actually thinking I should title this post “So many swimsuits, so little time!” At the moment she has three of them. I can’t help it; little girls’ suits are so cute.

We’ve been busy making lots of art (sometimes 2 paintbrushes are better than one!)

We went with Aunt Janice to Greenfield Village…Zoe is not so sure about the carousel just yet.

Taking a break after the ride:

…and we just got back from a fun trip up north to my parents’ lake house.

We found a GREAT park not too far from the house – wish it was there when we were little!

Zoe said the word “strawberry” for everyone!

…and she ate quite a few of them over the weekend!

Captain Zoe loves to go boating! (She’s actually sitting at the dock here…not out on the lake!)

Hanging out with Grandpa

Playing with water with her dada:

Zoe and her Grandma

In front of the lake house:

She ASKED to go out on the boat

Hope everyone has a great 4th of July!

New favorite things…

2011-06-21T22:43:00.001-04:00

Climbing stairs and scooting down them again (just to do it all over again.)

Climbing really steep stairs – giving me close to a heart attack.

Pretending to fly a rocket (or maybe she thinks she’s driving a car?)

Football! Or “ball-ball” as she yells as she hurtles them at Steve! (These were part of his Father’s Day gift from Zoe.) Love the top she’s wearing – it’s a gift from her birthmom

Her water table from Aunt Diane and Uncle Chris and all the kids:

Long walks

Water – anywhere! We’ve used the pool and water table in our yard, we’ve gone to the local pool, and we’ve been to the local waterpark twice – she just can’t get enough!

21 months old today (PIP)

2011-06-16T21:37:00.001-04:00

It’s hard to believe that she’s 21 months old! She’s such a big girl. She’s becoming quite the comedian…she’ll say, “Oh Baby…” and hug me as if I’m the little baby in her arms. Too funny. She’ll have messy hands from dinner and try to reach out and hold our faces. She plays golf in our living room with her little golf set and Steve’s taught her to yell, “It’s in the hole!” (from Caddyshack) and raise her hands above her head as she does it. And she’s just talking up a storm. She says so many sentences: Okay, Mommy. I get it. I got it. Come on, Mommy. Up, Mommy. I okay. Umm…no. Go outsie (no “d” when she says it but she means “go outside.”) She says “how” for house (her playhouse) and a word that sounds a lot like bubbles for “bubbles.” She’s so independent – or at least wants to be. It’s amazing how fast she’s growing and changing every day.

Summer

2011-06-15T14:10:00.001-04:00

We have been keeping busy this week (and last weekend, too.) On Saturday we went to an art festival– Zoe got a cute stuffed owl from an artist whose business is called “Perfectly Imperfect Pets.” I took a picture of Zoe with her little friend – I still have to send a copy to the artist. She had asked me for one. We spent some time with my friend, Alison, at the festival, too.

On Saturday night, we picked up an art desk that was a gift from my cousin and her boss. It now has a home in our living room. This is a picture of Zoe seconds after she woke up, was changed and dressed, and ran into the living room to play (she had no idea this was in the room!):

On Sunday, our neighbor called and asked us if we were ready for a very special delivery…they were giving Zoe a playhouse that their daughters had had. (I already knew about it, but Zoe didn’t!) She has had SO much fun in the house!

Here are a few more pics from our backyard – Zoe playing around with Steve and playing in her house.

She loves her slide from her Aunt Janice!

It’s nice to be on a break. If you have been reading my blog, you know I am a teacher. It’s not the easiest time to be a teacher, that’s for sure. Because of state education cuts, many of our local school districts are making cuts to their budgets right now, and unfortunately students and teachers will be feeling those cuts this fall. The last few weeks of school were wonderful – because I teach some really wonderful students and work with some really wonderful people AND stressful – because no one knows if they’ll have a job next year. Or even if you have a job, how will it be changed because of the budget? Of course, all of this is still in the back of my mind, but I really do appreciate the “change of scenery” and being able to spend time focusing on Zoe right now.

Maybe we’ll get good (or at least not awful) news soon…

School's out...

2011-06-10T23:18:00.001-04:00

…for summer!!!!

It’s been quite a long school year. So very glad to have a break right now. Looking forward to doing a lot of fun stuff this summer! Just wanted to share Hoping to check out an art fest this weekend – that’s a good way to start things off!

Happy Adoption Day 2011, Zoe!

2011-06-04T21:22:00.001-04:00

One year ago today we were in a courtroom, not too far from our home. We stood before a judge and we legally became Zoe’s parents. It was such an exciting, emotional day…

The judge had literally just gotten back from vacation…can you see the sandals still on her feet?! I remember her asking us if we understood all of the responsibilities that went along with legally becoming her parents and if we would accept them. We couldn’t have said yes any faster than we did! It was such a wonderful day.

Here’s another pic from that day and one that was taken today:

Last year we bought Zoe a charm bracelet in honor of the day and we bought a little letter “z” charm for it. Today we went back to the same store and bought a little heart charm that says “love” on the other side. My parents and my sister, Janice, gave Zoe cards, and my sister, Tracy, gave her a handmade treasure box and a copy of The Giving Tree (one of our childhood favorites.)

We wanted to do something special today…we went to a festival that was happening nearby. They had lots of music, kids and adults performing dance routines, crafters and vendors, and farm animals for the kids to see. Zoe loved running up and down the street (it was closed to traffic for the day.)

She really did have sunscreen on! I know her poor little arms look so pink in that last shot. After that we came home and Zoe went in her little pool in our backyard. She had so much fun splashing the water everywhere. I can’t wait to go to our local pool this year – she’s going to have so much fun.

After swimming we headed up to the outdoor mall where we bought her the charm I mentioned, had dinner, and played on a playground that is at the mall. She had so much fun running around with the other kids. After that we headed home, and it was time for her to go to bed.

Neither of us can believe that a year has already gone by. Every day we have seen her grow and change so much. Today she opened the gift from her Aunt Tracy, and she said, “Oh, cool!” That’s the first time she’s ever said that word before. Too cute. We’re just so very proud of her and so amazingly happy to be her parents.

Happy Adoption Day, Zoe!

Recent pictures

2011-05-14T22:01:00.001-04:00

The first few pictures are from last Sunday at my parents’ house. It was such a beautiful day outside. Zoe loved it – she kept chasing the bubbles that we all blew for her and yelled, “Hi Guys!” to them. Too funny! The last couple of pictures are from the day before that when we spent an afternoon at a local park.

I love all of the pictures, but I especially love the ones of Steve running after Zoe and the last one of him walking with her. It’s hard to believe that in early March he had open heart surgery and was in recovery at the hospital. And now he’s chasing after an almost-20-month old who’s constantly on the go! I’m so thankful that he’s able to do that.

Mother’s Day…remembering…

2011-05-07T09:02:00.001-04:00

Mother’s Day, before Zoe came along, was really hard for me to handle. All weekend long, no matter where we went, strangers would assume you were a mom and wish you a happy Mother’s Day. It was a reminder of what we really wanted – a family – and what we didn’t have yet. I remember wishing that someone would acknowledge how I was feeling and say that they were sorry we were going through this and that they were there for me. I know that not everyone who is dealing with infertility may feel like this, but I just wanted to say that for those of you who are dealing with it, I am sorry and I hope your journey to your child is a short one. You ARE thought of on Mother’s Day.

This is also related to Mother’s Day…I heard really good news recently. Not one but TWO friends are adopting! I’m so happy and excited for both of them. The first friend is my friend, B, and her husband J that I mentioned in my last post!! So happy for them to be starting their classes soon. They are going to be such great parents – they are so funny and just wonderful friends. I can’t wait to hear about every step of their adoption.

Another friend of mine, Lostinspace, recently shared on her blog that they, too, are adopting! She just wrote about it here: Forgetting to Remember to Forget. It’s been a long journey for them to this point, too, and how great is it that a new one is beginning?

Both friends are considering open adoption, which leads me to this…I wanted to end my post by saying how much I appreciate Zoe’s birthmom. Z is the reason that we’re parents and the reason that I also get to celebrate being a mom. Not a day goes by when I am not thankful for her decision. Zoe is always going to know who she is and what she’s like – and Zoe will have lots of love all around her.

It’s kind of funny how when you first get married and you’re thinking of having kids, you don’t think about all of the things that might happen or might not happen. You (or at least I did) tend to assume things will be easy and you’ll become a parent on your own timeframe. (I remember thinking about how I could plan when we got pregnant, so that I could have have my maternity leave from work and then the summer to stay home with our baby…that seems like ages ago!) And of course, if you’re reading this, you know that didn’t happen that way for us. And yet, I can’t imagine not having gone through what we went through because every bit of it led us to our daughter. Her little laugh, her peek-a-boos, her dancing…I just can’t imagine our lives without all of those things.

I hope that whatever journey or road you are on that it takes you to where you want it to go. If you are a birthmom, I hope you have peace in your heart this Mother’s Day and know that you are remembered. (Z – we love you so much, and are so glad we got to see you just a short time ago.) If you are an adoptive mom or a waiting parent (whether through adoption or through trying to conceive), I hope that the process is quick and your little one finds you soon.

And Mom and Cheryl – I hope you both have a wonderful Mother’s Day, too. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for my mom and all of the things she taught me as I was growing up. She’s full of love, patience, and kindness. And I know Steve is who is because of everything his mom, Cheryl, did to raise him and help him become the wonderful man that he is. You definitely taught him to work hard but take time to enjoy his family, too. Thinking of you both and love you, too!

Open Adoption

2011-04-23T00:09:00.001-04:00

After we finished our home study, we attended as many waiting family meetings as possible. We really looked forward to them. The meetings helped us learn more about adoption-related topics. It was really great that our agency offered them. We have always said that some of our favorite classes were the ones where birth parents and adoptive parents spoke about their experiences. When we left the classes, we felt something we hadn’t felt in a long time…hope.

We went to one of those meetings and the speakers were the birth mom and the adoptive parents of a little baby girl. They brought their daughter, M, with them. They told us how they did their home study and waited to be chosen by birth parents. Six months later they were chosen and a short time after that, they brought their daughter home. They have an open adoption with their daughter’s birth mom.

We were really interested to hear more about what an open adoption was like. We had read about it and talked about it with our caseworker, and we were excited to hear more from people who were involved in an open adoption. We felt that an open adoption was what we wanted our child to have with his/her birth parents, but we wanted to know more about it, too.

M’s birth mom talked about why she chose the couple to be her daughter’s adoptive parents. She held M through most of the workshop. You could really see how happy the three of them were with their relationship with each other. They shared with all of us what the experience had been like – the harder parts and the wonderful parts.

Any nervousness we felt at that time about an open adoption really eased at that meeting. As we drove home, we talked about how we felt – We really felt that an open adoption was what we wanted to consider. We also talked about how amazing it was that this couple was chosen after only 6 months of waiting (We had been told it could be up to 2 years or more.) Plus they were able to have such a wonderful relationship with their child’s birth mom. It was all so positive.

The thing with adoption is that it involves so many people and so many lives. It involves so many relationships. Not only the child, the birth parents, and the adoptive parents, but the grandparents, the birth grandparents, the siblings, the aunts and uncles, the birth aunts and uncles, etc. And to have it all come together in such a positive way…well, that’s pretty amazing, isn’t it? And for a child to have SO many people to love and care for him/her…that’s the best thing I can imagine.

I was really reminded of that quite a few times over the past week or so. We went to another meeting at our agency this past Wednesday. The topic was “Talking to Your Children About Adoption,” and the speaker was Cindy Champnella (Author of The Waiting Child). She touched on a lot of areas related to the topic. We discussed how it is important to share your child’s story with him her from the time that they are babies. That way they will always know their story and their background. Champnella said that it is important to share information with the child about his/her background but to do it at developmentally appropriate times. She also talked about how children’s books about adoption are a great tool to start a dialogue with your child.

I had just read Tell Me Again About the Night I was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis to Zoe a few nights before and I did just that – I read the story and talked with her about the night we found out that she was on the way. I read the story with quite a few tears in my eyes because it was such a happy and exciting time for us, and I can only imagine what a difficult time it was for her birth mom.

Champnella talked about how she wished that her daughters had an open adoption with their birth moms. She wished that they had access to them to be able to ask them questions or just to talk. That really reminded us of how lucky we are to have the relationship that we have with Zoe’s birth mom and her family. They spent Sunday afternoon with us at our home, and we are so happy that they got to see how much Zoe has grown since Christmas (the last time they had visited.) We were able to learn a lot about similarities between Zoe and her birth mom…things that Zoe does now and her birth mom did when she was a toddler, too. Everyone played with her, and she had so much fun with them.

I know she doesn’t understand who they are yet, but she will. She understands more and more. Yesterday she was pointing to pictures of everyone who was here, and I was naming them for her. We’re so happy that she has this connection to her birth family. And especially that she’ll know how much they love her.

Very good friends of ours, J and B, have talked with us about what it’s like to have an open adoption. They are in the early stages of adoption right now. Someday (hopefully someday soon!) they are going to be wonderful parents. My friend, B, said that she has a picture of Zoe on her mantel, and that her husband, J, referred to Zoe as “our little hope.” I love that…I love that our situation, our relationship with Zoe’s birth mom, our adoption…can bring hope to another adoptive couple.

It just all goes back to that feeling we had when we left those waiting family meetings…that having a family was a definite possibility for us and having an open adoption was the best choice for us. And that having a little hope can make all the difference in the world when you are going through it all.

It’s been a while…

2011-04-05T11:24:00.001-04:00

…since I last wrote a post. I started back to work last Monday. I had been home with Steve since the Friday he had had his cardiac catherization done. I was home the week between his tests and his surgery, too; a lot of students were out of school with a really bad case of the flu, so they recommended I not go back. If I had gotten the flu and passed it onto Steve, his surgery would have had to have been cancelled. We didn’t want to risk that, so I stayed home. Then once he got home, he needed someone with him for a week, just in case he had an emergency type of situation and needed help.

Going back to work, getting back into our routine, dropping Zoe off at daycare…all that was very hard. It’s just hard to focus when you’ve had so much going on in your personal life. And Steve did great on his own, so it wasn’t that something happened and I was worried. But I was just worried, period. He’s been through a lot,and it was really hard to leave him alone all day.

I was very overwhelmed when I walked back into my classroom. I had notes and notes and more notes left from the substitutes. I was overwhelmed by the stacks and stacks of projects that need to go home with the students. And the mounds of work that need to be graded. I ended up staying a bit later (30 minutes) on two of the days and about an hour later on one of the days, just so I could get caught up. And no, I’m definitely not caught up, but I made a tiny bit of progress, so that was good.

Steve is continuing to do really well with his recovery. He goes back for a follow up a week from tomorrow. We’re guessing that cardiac rehab will be next. Maybe some of his restrictions will be lifted. He has a really good attitude about everything and has been working hard on getting his exercise in each day. I’m very proud of him.

Zoe is doing really well – talking a lot more. I think she’s going through a growth spurt, too, because she has days where she eats like she’s a bottomless pit. I’m home for Spring Break this week and it’s been so fun to watch her have fun and play with her. She seems like she has limitless energy and is always so excited.

Playing a little bit before bed:

Zoe’s first hair cut:

Love this one with her tiny tongue sticking out:

A girl and her new ‘do!

She’s 18 months old today!

2011-03-16T23:13:00.001-04:00

Zoe turned 18 months old today, can you believe it? Steve’s mom brought the cute t-shirt in the picture with her when she came out for Steve’s surgery. It’s really for St. Patrick’s Day, so we’re a day early.

She’s been keeping us (and our family who helped out while Steve was in the hospital) very busy. She’s constantly on the go – walking, running, walking backwards, dancing…she rarely slows down! She’s going to the pediatrician on Monday, so we’ll find out how much she has grown then; I can tell that she’s gotten taller and gained a little weight since her 15 month appointment.

She loves anything to do with music, instruments, and dancing. She loves to sing, too – she tries to sing along with us. She loves the A, B, C’s and still loves “Baby Beluga.” I sing that to her when she is tired. It still calms her down just like it did when she was tiny.

She is really interested in her puzzles. She was doing this puzzle earlier

and she actually got all of the colors right! She still has a little bit of trouble with fitting the pieces into the spaces, but she matched up the colors.

She likes to eat pretty much anything. Some days she’ll decide she doesn’t want something and then the next day she’ll eat it. I think she’s just starting to develop a taste for what she likes. She says “mmm mmm” or “nom nom” very enthusiastically when she likes something. It’s very cute. She’ll even do it when she watches us eat something, like she’s encouraging us to be good eaters, too. :)

She loves books, and I recently bought her a couple of animal sounds books. She can say “moo,” “baa”, “maa”, and “quack.”

Yesterday she saw a picture of Steve and I and said “Mama, Dada….I see Mama, Dada.” I was floored that she put all that together. She’s talking a lot – some of it we understand and of course, some of it we don’t. She says “no” a lot but that sometimes means “yes.” She says “up", “down”, “done,” and can do the sign for “more” and for “milk.” She can say “cup,” “cupcake” (it’s in one of her books), “tay-tay” (for Aunt Tracy), “Janice” (one time for Aunt Janice), “gramma”, “grampa”, “eye”, “no” for nose, “one”, “two,” “a”, “b,” “ba” for ball, and I’m sure I’m forgetting a few more.

She loves her blankets and her seahorse. When we go in to get her in the morning, she’s holding onto her blankets. She loves the blanket that her birthmom and her birthgrandma gave her and she loves the blankets from my mom and Steve’s mom. So she’s always clutching those along with her pink seahorse (which Steve named Sigmund….remember “Sigmund and the Sea Monsters” from the 70s?)

She learned how to turn it on and off so sometimes we’ll hear music playing when we think she’s actually asleep.

She’s learning what she likes and doesn’t like. She definitely has preferences. Like she doesn’t like her milk cup on her tray of her high chair. She likes it on the table until she’s ready for it. And she likes to try to dress herself whenever we can let her. She’s becoming very independent like that. She does get upset sometimes when she doesn’t get her way. We’re trying to teach her that it’s okay to be upset, but it doesn’t mean that you’re going to turn around and get what you want, either. That’s got to be a hard lesson for an 18 month old to learn. It’s good that she’s usually pretty good about things like that.

She’s really loving and kind. Very sweet. Just today she saw Steve was sitting in his chair and she walked over to him and handed him a pillow. Since he came home from the hospital on Monday, she has seen him hold the pillow over his chest when he is in pain or if he needs to cough (it helps to brace his sternum.) She already picked up that and brought his pillow to him. She’s been very good about hugging him…she can’t really be up on his lap or near his chest, so she usually runs over and hugs his legs if he’s standing near her. It’s very sweet. I’ll also hold her and sit next to him so she knows she’s near him, too. I know it’s really hard for him not to be able to pick her up like he wants to.

Steve is doing well. I can’t believe he walked even a little further today before taking a break. He’s still in a lot of pain; that’s going to take a long time to heal and go away. But one step at a time. One week ago tomorrow was his surgery, so I really see it as a blessing that he’s home and doing as well as he is doing. I’m so proud of him and how he’s been so good about doing everything the doctor told him he needed to do. He really wants to get better and heal.

Steve’s home

2011-03-15T12:13:00.001-04:00

Steve came home yesterday and is sleeping right now. He’s doing well, especially considering it hasn’t even been a week since he had surgery.

I’ll be home with him 24/7 for a week or so, just in case of an emergency. He is doing okay with his breathing exercises and with walking. He has to do the breathing machine 10x every hour and he has to walk 4 times a day for a total of 20 minutes. He also has other stretching exercises he has to do to help his chest remain flexible as it heals (otherwise the scar tissue could be a problem down the road.) It’s been a little hard for him to talk. He seems to get a little winded if he tries to talk too much. That should improve as his lung capacity improves. He doesn’t have a very big appetite yet, but he’s eating regular food.

Last night was kind of hard. We were both really tired, but he has a hard time sleeping on his back. He is allowed to sleep on his side, so he was trying to do that. I was concerned that I might roll over and bump into him, so I stayed on the far edge of the bed. Zoe was very restless all night and I kept hearing her on the monitor. Steve had to get up off and on through the night – for medication or because he was coughing – and I got up with him. So we’re not looking too pretty today, as you can imagine! :)

But he’s napping now, and I’ll try to get a little nap in there, too, if I can. One of my sisters is going to help us out a bit with Zoe this afternoon/evening.

Update on Steve

2011-03-13T17:27:00.001-04:00

He's doing well. He was moved into a step-down unit last night (out of ICU.) We were really happy to hear that he was ready for that.

He's been walking - he's supposed to walk 4x a day and get up and into his chair 3x a day. So far he's been doing that. He has a couple more 'milestones' to meet and when he does, he'll be ready to be discharged.

He has a really good attitude about everything - he's listening to the doctors and nurses and doing what they tell him to do.

I'm really proud of him. He's come a long way in just a few days.

Two mornings later...

2011-03-12T07:33:00.002-05:00

The past two weeks, as you can imagine, have been so hard. We're so very lucky that when Steve had shortness of breath, he went to the doctor. We're also lucky that all of his tests led us to his cardiologist and the specialist that did his actually surgery. I am so thankful, in so many ways.

As he went through different tests along the way, we heard things like "repair," "possible surgery," etc. But to be sitting in his hospital room a week ago Thursday and actually hear the details of his surgery to come...I can't even explain that feeling.

I love Steve so much. We've been together for such a long time...we met when I was only 20 and he was 25. Let's just say, we're a tad older than that at this point. We've been through a lot over the years - moving, putting each other through school, job changes, family member surgeries and illness, and the ups and downs of trying to start a family. Who would have ever thought that we would be dealing with him having open heart surgery, especially at such a young age?

Steve having to go through this really puts so much into perspective. Things I thought were a problem are not a big deal anymore. In a lot of ways, this whole experience is really a wake up call. A reminder that I (we) need to let the little things go and just focus on what's really important. And to not take anything for granted because things can just change so quickly.

Over the last week while he was waiting for his surgery, we were forced to have some conversations we just didn't want to have. You're forced to think about the "what ifs" and what your "just in case" plans are. It's overwhelming and really brings the reality of what's happening home. It's scary - so very scary - to hear that someone you love is going to have to go through this and what can possibly happen if something goes wrong. Of course, that's the case in any surgery, but when you hear all of the risks and it's because someone is having surgery on their heart, it just feels so much more real.

I am so grateful that he caught everything early enough and so grateful that his surgeon was able to do what he was able to do. (I was able to speak the him after everything was done. I said "Thank you so much" through my tears to the doctor and his reply was "Thank God." I do...I definitely do. I can't tell you how many prayers I said and our family and friends said for him, too.

So here we are...morning #2 after post-surgery. He had a great day yesterday...sitting up in a chair, taking small slow steps down the hallway, being able to talk with us....

I wonder what improvements and progress today will bring.He still has a great attitude about everything and he's so funny...he's been making all of the nurses laugh. That's my Steve.

Steve's surgery

2011-03-11T15:00:00.001-05:00

Just a quick update from the hospital...

Steve had surgery yesterday. It took 6 hours and then he was in ICU. It was a very long day for him - he was in pre-op from 9:30am until they took him in at 4:00pm. But everything went VERY well and they were able to fix both areas of his heart.

He's in ICU but he was able to sit up this morning in a chair, and this afternoon he was able to walk (with the physical therapists) down the hallway and back.

He has a long recovery to go, but he's made so much progress in such a short amount of time!

Surgery…

2011-03-07T13:28:00.001-05:00

I haven’t written in a while. We’ve had a lot going on – some good, some not good.

The good – we were able to visit my sister, Tracy, in Kentucky about two weeks ago. She moved there for her job. We got to see her new place and see where she works. We even spent the day at the zoo with her.

The not-so-good…We got back from our trip and our furnace had died. We came home and not only had our furnace died, but that day it snowed almost a foot of snow and was probably 10 degrees in our house.

On top of that, Steve wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor with shortness of breath. They started running tests at the doctor’s office and then sent him for more heart-related tests. After a cardiac catherization early last week and a visit to two different specialists, we found out that he is going to need open heart surgery.

They discharged him from the hospital and he’s been taking it easy. He’ll go in later this week for the procedure. The issues he’s dealing with are all something he was born with (but we did not know about) and could not have done anything to prevent.

We’re just trying to take everything one day at a time. Hearing the news about the surgery was very overwhelming. I guess we’ve both needed time to process it all. I just don’t think anyone can be prepared to hear something like that.

Last weekend and Valentine’s Day!

2011-02-15T19:31:00.001-05:00

I haven’t posted as often as I would like on here. Taking care of Zoe, working, running errands, doing more work (for work) once I get home, and doing things around the house has kept both of us pretty busy. I figured I would share a couple of pictures from the past week or so. The first picture is the one that I used on our Valentine’s cards:

My parents and Zoe at my parents’ church – they are celebrating their 40th anniversary this year. Their church had a celebration honoring all of the married couples that were sharing a milestone anniversary.

Visiting at Grandma and Grandpa’s house after church…Zoe is sitting in the rocking chair that my sisters and I sat in when we were little.

Using a fork and a spoon now with pretty good accuracy:

One of my ‘jobs’ over the past week – I reorganized our office to use it as a playroom for Zoe:

Zoe’s buddies – all gifts from our friends, Barb, Ranae, and Rachael

Zoe attempting to put on her sock – yes, she has actually succeeded! She’s pretty good with it, and she’s even better at taking them off!

Trying out a big-girl hair style:

Doesn’t everyone lock the door with plastic celery? (Someone definitely watches as we lock and unlock the door!)

Valentine’s Day – posing with her new sneakers/tennis shoes!

Opening her gift from us – a book about animals and a book called “You Are My Sunshine.” I sang that to her all the time when she was a newborn.

That’s it for now. Hopefully I’ll be able to work on a more involved blog post soon. Oh, and interestingly, I just had an email that my blog was listed on 50 Best Blogs for Adoption Advice. Then I saw it on a Facebook posting for Adoptions from the Heart agency, too…our link is #27. For some reason, though, the author wrote that we adopted a baby boy and not a girl….oh well. It’s still nice to be listed – I may email the person who wrote me and see if they could change it. :)

A girl and her snow pants

2011-02-05T19:37:00.001-05:00

We got lucky this past week and had not one but TWO snow days…woohoo! I was so happy to get to spend the extra time with Zoe and having a couple of days off from work is a bonus, too.

We spent the time reading books, playing with her kitchen set, and playing with her musical instruments.

Here she is pretending to hide in her bedroom! (Her version of hide and seek…she laughs the whole time so it’s pretty easy to find her.)

I also put up the tent that my parents gave her for Christmas. She had fun playing in it and laying on the pillow that my mom and my sister made.

And then today we ended up with a snowstorm that we didn’t even know was coming. Here are some pictures from earlier.

Getting ready:

I think she’s trying to eat her jacket in this picture:

She looks so little next to her Daddy:

Someone’s going to really like snow cones someday!

Checking out the neighbors as the shovel:

As Steve said, the only thing that could have made the afternoon a little better was if we had gotten the snow tomorrow and gotten a bonus snow day on Monday. I like the way he thinks. :)

16 Months Old…already?

2011-01-20T23:35:00.001-05:00

It’s hard to believe that she’s 16 months old. It doesn’t seem like it’s possible. Remember how little she was?

She was sooo tiny.

Her little, wrinkly hands.

Her tiny little smile.

Such blue blue eyes.

And cute reddish hair.

That look on her face…it makes me smile every time I see it.

Her laugh.

Sitting up.

Standing up.

Exploring everything she can get her hands on.

Climbing into things.

About to turn one year old.

Celebrating her 2nd Halloween.

Waiting for lunch.

Waiting for presents.

Turning 16 months old. Wonder what this month will bring!

Rough Week

2011-01-14T20:33:00.001-05:00

There has been a lot of things that have happened lately that have been really upsetting. One of my coworkers and his wife lost the baby they were expecting the week before Christmas. She was due right around then. They are grieving, and the staff in my building has been trying to cope with it as well. Somehow he is back at work at school and dealing with everything. I can’t imagine how they are feeling.

During that same time one of my other coworkers was on a ski trip with her family and her son was in a bad skiing accident. He was rushed to the hospital with a closed head injury and broken bones. They truly did not know what was going to happen – there were moments when things did not look good at all. But somehow her son is home now and going through various therapies. He will probably have some memory issues (at least temporarily if not permanent), but he has been healing well.

Today I heard that two students from one of my schools lost their father last night. He suffered a massive heart attack, then suffered a second one, and he passed away. I can’t imagine how the family is feeling right now and dealing with everything.

In my family, we have had to deal with one of my sisters moving to another state. She was offered a job there and decided she had to take it. Over the past 8 months or so, she has spent so much time with us. She would come over a lot when I was home with Zoe during the day. She would pick Zoe up from her babysitter’s house. She would just come over and hang out. I know I’m not the only one missing her. My other sister spends so much time with Tracy, and they have so much in common that they like to do together. My parents are missing her so much, too. We all helped her move her things out of her house, and it was so hard to watch everything be put into boxes.

I know that moving away isn’t the same thing as dealing with someone’s death…I know that I can drive 6 or 7 hours and see my sister. It’s just that it feels like such a loss at the moment. I really miss her, and it may be a while before we’re able to visit. I’m happy for her that she was able to find a job right now. It’s so hard, especially in the area we are in. But it’s just so hard to accept that she had to move so far to find that job.

I guess you just never know. You never know what’s going to happen or why. You never know if it’s supposed to be that way for a reason. And if so, what’s the reason (and why can’t we know the answer right now??)

It’s just been a hard week, emotionally. I guess all of it is a good reminder to be grateful and thankful when things are good and going well and to not take any of it for granted.

Back at the doctor…for a second time in one week

2011-01-08T18:29:00.001-05:00

Well, I was headed back to work on Friday, and Zoe was headed back to her babysitter’s for the day. However, around 1am on Friday morning, she started throwing up. We were up with her until 2:30am when she finally got back to sleep. So somewhere in between 1am and 2:30am and taking care of Zoe, I put in for another substitute to teach my classes for the day.

In the a.m., she was very tired and cranky. She didn’t have a fever at any point, so we weren’t sure what to do. We called her pediatrician’s office, and they had us come in. The doctor changed her timing of her medicine so she would get 3 doses a day instead of 2. She said she thinks she got sick because her poor little nose/head/throat is so congested and she couldn’t help it. The good news is that the doctor didn’t hear any of the pneumonia anymore. So between the medicine being spread out, using a vaporizer, and using a cool mist humidifier, hopefully she’ll be doing better soon.

She seems very tired today – she’ll play and seem okay and then just lay down and suck her thumb. She’s in her crib now…I’m hoping she’ll take a little nap. She’s been eating well and drinking lots of liquids, so that’s good. I’m so glad that we didn’t have much of anything going on this weekend. We needed it to recuperate, that’s for sure.

These pics are from today – the first one made me laugh so hard. She was really pretending to type!

Pneumonia

2011-01-06T21:11:00.001-05:00

That’s what we’ve been dealing with at our house this week. About a month ago, Zoe had a cough and a runny nose. She happened to already have a doctor appointment for her flu shot, so we had her checked out. The doctor found an ear infection. So that, her cough, and her nose cleared up over the following week.

Right around when my winter break started, she started another cough. She would cough mostly at night when we would put her to bed. But she seemed to do pretty well through the day. We had her follow-up appointment for the ear infection, so I mentioned it to her doctor. The doctor said it was just a cough/cold. So we went through Christmas and the week after with her dealing with this.

We started back to work on Monday and by Tuesday, we decided we were heading back to the doctor. We weren’t able to see our regular doctor, but the one we saw was very nice. He took a long time checking Zoe’s lungs and said he could hear something…he suspected she has a slight case of pneumonia. That caught me off guard – I was definitely not expecting that at all. He said we caught it very early, but he wanted to put her on antibiotics so she could fight it off. He said we had been doing all of the right things – we elevated her crib mattress, have a cool mist humidifier in her room, etc. He said to keep on doing that and keep an eye on her.

He said she wasn’t contagious at that point and could go back to her babysitter. I decided to keep her home for a couple of days, though. She wasn’t sleeping well at night and just wasn’t herself. We ended up staying up a lot throughout the night and holding her so that she could breathe easier. (Thank you to my mom for keeping an eye on her while I caught a nap today, too. And thank you to my dad who was here yesterday helping us out as well.)

It seems like the medicine really kicked in today (just like the doctor said it should.) I’m glad she’s starting to feel better. She was playing a lot more today and smiling a lot more…the last few days she’s been so tired and cranky – not the usual happy little girl that Zoe normally is.

So hopefully she’s on the mend. I’m so grateful tomorrow is Friday, and then we’ll have to weekend to continue to recover.

Christmas Portrait… a bit after Christmas

2011-01-05T13:58:00.001-05:00

A little late, but this is Zoe’s Christmas portrait. :)

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T13:38:00.001-05:00

For my friends…

2010-12-23T11:48:00.001-05:00

While we were waiting for Zoe, the holidays were really hard. So hard. We had fun with our families and friends, but we would see reminders everywhere that we were still waiting to become parents. We would go to friends’ houses and visit with them and their children and leave there wondering why it hadn’t happened for us yet. I know that some of you who read my blog are still waiting, too, and if the holidays are hard for you, I just want you to know that you’re thought of and that I know what it’s like to have been there.

Melba wrote a really nice post about this on her blog – she wrote about how in hindsight, she wishes she could tell the Melba in the past to enjoy more and allow herself to feel happiness at times even while dealing with infertility. She wrote about how it’s okay to allow yourself to be upset or to be sad, but it’s also okay to have fun and allow yourself moments of happiness, too.

So, if you’re having a hard time this Christmas (or even if you’re not), I hope that you can have moments of happiness this holiday…

Christmas cookies -I made chocolate covered Oreos with sprinkles……and little mittens with icing and sprinkles… …memories from Christmases when you were little (we had this tree when we were little kids) … …a little bit of sparkle……a little bit of fun…(I love snow globes!)….

…and even a white Christmas (but only if you want one! I would gladly have a tropical, warm and toasty Christmas if that happened for us but I’m pretty sure we’ll be having the white Christmas in the picture below…)

Thinking of my friends…Merry Christmas.

Visit with Zoe’s birthmom

2010-12-20T09:19:00.001-05:00

Yesterday Zoe’s birthmom, her birthfamily, and her birthmom’s boyfriend came to our house for a visit. It was so nice to see them! We hadn’t seem them since Zoe’s birthday party in September, so we were excited for them to see how much Zoe has grown. She’s completely walking now so that’s a big change! She’s talking and babbling a lot more, too.

A few minutes before they arrived…very excited:

We talked for a while, had lunch together, and Zoe opened some gifts they brought for her. In the 2nd picture she’s playing with the drum they brought for her and you can see the pillow pet, sock monkey, and sock bear they brought for her behind her, too. And in the 3rd picture she’s wearing the tutu that they got her! Too cute :)

It was really nice to see them. Steve and I talked last night about how lucky we are that Zoe’s birthmom (and her family) want to have a relationship with us. We know that the weeks before the holidays can be really busy, so we’re so happy that they were able to spend time with us. We love that we’ll be able to share all of this with Zoe as she’s growing up. She has so many people in her life that love her so very much.

Our snow days

2010-12-15T23:54:00.002-05:00

The best part about a snow day...staying in and making cookies!
The second best part about a snow day...when it leads to snow day #2, like ours did this week! It was great to have a little extra time, right before the holidays. :)
(Please excuse my crazy hair in the photos!)

This year’s Christmas Card

2010-12-11T22:15:00.001-05:00

I just saw Melba’s blog post about the card that she picked to use for Christmas. I almost forgot to post which one we decided on…here it is!

The cover:The inside on the left side: The inside on the right: We were really happy with how they turned out.

Photos from our trip(s) to see Santa!

2010-12-05T19:30:00.001-05:00

We decided to take Zoe to a mall nearby that has a very ‘realistic’ looking Santa. I had seen pictures that my coworker had taken of her children and this Santa, and they were really nice.

We got there at 1pm, only to find out that all of the “ticketed times” had been given out already, and we were out of luck. No Santa for Zoe :(

We took a few family pics in front of their fancy trees, though! We decided to try another place that wasn’t too far away, and we got lucky – we were the first ones in line to see Santa after he got back from his break. Zoe wanted to walk over to Santa, which she did. Then when I sat her on his lap, she just looked up at him. She didn’t seem to be nervous at all. She’s very brave :) (Oh, and fancy, too – the beautiful dress from her Aunt Barb!)

Starting to get more confidence

2010-12-04T23:38:00.001-05:00

This isn’t the first time she’s taken steps, but it’s one of the first times I’ve caught it on film!

Been sick

2010-12-02T22:25:00.003-05:00

I haven't really posted in a while - since Thanksgiving, actually. The three of us have been taking turns being sick. Zoe started off with a cold that turned into a cough and runny nose. Then it ended up as an ear infection. She seems like she's finally starting to feel better.

Steve spent quite a few days coughing. I did a little bit of that, had the chills, and have been congested for a few days now. I saw the doctor last night and he gave me a prescription, so hopefully I'll be feeling back to normal soon.

It's just hard when you're so tired. All I want to do is sleep. Even after I sleep, I just want to go back to sleep! I'm looking forward to tomorrow being Friday, and the weekend being here. I'm treating myself to a long overdue haircut this weekend. Yay - it will be nice to be 'pampered' a little bit. Maybe I'll even post a picture if I like how it turns out. :)

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-24T19:25:00.001-05:00

I’m thankful for a lot.

We are all healthy (minus the colds we’ve had!)
I’m thankful for all of the people in our lives – our families, Zoe’s birth mom, her birth grandparents, her birth uncles, and all of our wonderful friends.
I’m thankful that I’m a mom of a cute, funny, sweet, and silly 14 month old who makes me smile all the time.
And I’m so thankful for my husband. He’s a really good guy with a huge heart, and I’m lucky to have him.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

14 months old

2010-11-17T06:00:00.001-05:00

Happy Adoption Awareness Month

2010-11-12T21:27:00.001-05:00

Our agency has a blog that they regularly update with news. Here’s a link to the latest post:

http://aaiadoptionthreads.blogspot.com/

This is just a tiny bit of the post: “In November, we have already been honored to come along side of 11 new women seeking out counsel about planning for her expectant baby's future.”

It’s nice to read that more and more women have decided to speak with the agency about what their options are as far as adoption are concerned. It’s especially nice, considering November is National Adoption Awareness Month.

This is a link to a calendar of events and things that you can do during the month: calendar

Read an adoption specific book, blog about adoption awareness, learn or teach about positive adoption language…these are all things that you can do throughout the month and throughout the year.

Adoptive Families Magazine also offers a really great calendar here: http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/2010calendar.pdf

I am celebrating in a few ways – Recently I sent some adoption-related books to a friend of mine who is considering adoption. She and her husband are going to make fantastic parents someday – hopefully someday very soon! One of the other ways you can celebrate is to be an advocate for adoption – I was just telling someone I work with today about our experiences and how happy we are that we have an open adoption with Zoe’s birthmom. The coworker asked me a ton of questions about adoption and I was able to answer them very easily. It made me happy that I could give her a lot of information and even correct a couple misconceptions.

Are you celebrating National Adoption Awareness Month? How?

This past week

2010-11-10T22:19:00.001-05:00

It’s been kind of a rough week for Zoe…she has at least 3 teeth – maybe more – trying to come in. She’ll be fine one minute and then you can tell they are really hurting her. She’s been drooling a lot because of it and her poor little chin has been pink. She seems to do well with a little Tylenol, so we’ve been giving her that along with teething rings. Hope they hurry up and finish coming in soon.

This picture doesn’t have anything to do with her not feeling good, but I just thought I would post it. It’s so cute – she was watching football just like Steve! She even has a jersey for his favorite team :)

Hands On and Art Conference

2010-11-07T11:04:00.001-05:00

Steve and I took the day off last Monday. We took Zoe to the Hands On Museum with my sister, Tracy. Zoe and I had gone there for the first time back in August with Melba and Charlie from Our Journey to Parenthood. We decided to take Zoe back since she liked it so much the first time!

The Hands On Museum is really great – they have things to do for kids at many ages. They have a room just full of building blocks – Zoe loved tumbling over those and knocking down the towers that Steve made. And she loved the 4 and under room – it’s full of mats you can climb on, toys geared to her age, a water table, a play house, a fire truck, and other things that are very interactive. It was a lot of fun for all of us. Here are a few pictures from the day.

The rest of the week was really busy. I had a Professional Day at work and we are working on ideas for changes to our art curriculum. I had volunteered to be on that committee, but we did a lot of work within our bigger group that day. I taught on Wednesday and Thursday, and I spent Friday and Saturday at the Art Education conference for my state. I love going to it – I tend to come home with a bunch of ideas that really inspire me to try new lessons and projects with my students. It’s interesting – the really theme of the conference was that art education is shifting gears and there is more of a focus on design and its impact on the our students and their future careers. There was a lot of discussion about that, even at the elementary level. Everything outside of nature is designed by someone working in a design studio or for a design company; it’s a huge industry that is often not really talked about with younger students. I plan to make some changes this year as I teach and introduce more and more art careers and opportunities where students can use an art background. It really is too late to wait to introduce all that in middle school and high school. You need to get them thinking about it now, even if it is just in the back of their minds. Then as they get into secondary education, they can make more informed choices about what path to take. Pretty exciting if you ask me!

It was pretty exciting to see artist, Tyree Guyton, too. He’s the artist who created the Heidelberg Project in Detroit. He gave a wonderful speech Saturday morning and talked about the importance of art in our lives and in our students’ lives and what a real difference it makes.

He really is an amazing example of how one person can really make a change and make a difference.

Happy Halloween!

2010-11-01T21:05:00.001-04:00

Spooky Night Out

2010-10-31T11:23:00.001-04:00

Last night we went to a nearby town that really gets into Halloween. The entire street decorates for Halloween – it was so cool! There was even a group of zombies that started doing a choreographed dance to Michael Jackson’s Thriller on someone’s front lawn! Zoe stayed home with my cousin and we went to check out the fun:

There were cannons going off for one of the pirate ships. There were live people here and there scaring the onlookers. There was one house that had a box and cellar on the front of their house – both rattled like something was inside trying to get out!!

We had a great time!!!

Aaaaarrrrrggggghhh!

2010-10-29T22:46:00.001-04:00

We went to my school’s Fall Festival tonight as a family of pirates. We had a lot of fun. I know it might seem kind of silly, but I’ve always wanted to do a family costume. Last year Zoe was SO little it would have been really hard. Plus it was really cold out, and I didn’t really even want to take her out except to see the next door neighbors. But this year we decided we would go related costumes for my work’s festival and “trunk or treat.” It was a lot of fun. We got to see a lot of my students and their families, and they got to meet Zoe and Steve. We had a really fun time. I’m looking forward to the rest of the Halloween weekend. Tomorrow night we’re going to a street where every homeowner decorates their house to the nines! And then on Sunday we’re having family over to pass out candy and hang out. Should be fun!

What are you doing this Halloween weekend?

This is what happens when you try spaghetti sauce…

2010-10-28T00:00:00.001-04:00

Just a couple pictures from this past week – our first attempt at spaghetti sauce and pasta. I think she really likes it…check out the 3rd and 4th photos!

Almost Halloween

2010-10-23T22:27:00.001-04:00

Have I ever mentioned how much I love this time of year?

13 Months Old Today (and our 11th anniversary)

2010-10-16T09:29:00.001-04:00

This picture was taken a year ago exactly.

Here’s one from today:

(New outfit compliments of Zoe’s Aunt Janice, an uber-hockey fan!

Zoe is going to be hanging out with her aunts today while Steve and I celebrate our annivesary. It’s 11 years today – wow!

I’m so happy we’re together! :)